Lonely Teenage Part Discovered Whilst Painting Dots

I tapped into a teenage part of me whilst painting dots. I was feeling lonely. One of the things I love about painting is the meditative aspect. I can sit and be aware of thoughts, feelings and sensations without the need to act on them because I’ve dedicated myself to the task of painting dots. I first became aware of this choice in relation to thoughts when I painted Constellation in 2009. It was a revelation! I don’t have to act out every thought and impulse!

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Square Dots #1: sexism and dinero

Square Dots #1
Acrylic on canvas
12 x 12 in
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Legal High (2011)

Legal High (2011)
50 x 40 x 1 cm
Acrylic, emulsion, dish scourers, and anti depressants on canvas

I was going through a hard time with my mental health and my GP advised me to start taking anti-depressants every time I saw her. I caved in after yet another request for long-term psychotherapy was turned down. I knew anti-depressants weren’t the answer for me (I’d had them before a few times) especially as I wasn’t receiving any mental health help. They can actually be a good short term solution for some people.

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Constellation (2009)

Constellation (2009)
60 x 50 x 4 cm
Acrylic on canvas

I came home from work one evening in 2007 feeling frustrated and annoyed, grabbed the nearest canvas, which was painted in a block dark red and threw black paint at it, smearing it all over until no red showed; then I used my finger to draw the humanoid figure sitting on a chair.

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