Coaching

Do you want to manage the trauma instead of it managing you?

Or do you want to do things that are gonna serve more people but you keep finding yourself stuck on the sofa and just cannot stop watching TV?

Or do you want to know you can deal with whatever life throws at you, but right now you’re finding it hard to cope?

Or do you want to feel relaxed and confident but anxiety is getting in the way?

There are so many ways that old trauma symptoms keep us stuck when we really want to be moving on and thriving. My offer for you is my 90 day therapeutic coaching package. In this package you will:

  • learn to recognise the trauma symptoms as coping mechanisms so that you can begin to feel compassion for yourself and how you coped, which can lead to more ease and flow as you focus on the things that are important to you.
  • Learn where your stuckness comes from and make friends with it so it loses its power over you and you can do the things that are gonna serve more people.
  • Learn how to be with whatever thoughts and feelings come up for you so that you know you can deal with whatever life throws at you.
  • Learn how to befriend anxiety and the associates it hangs out with, like worry thoughts and fears so that you can feel relaxed and confident most or all of the time.

You’ll get:

12 weekly one hour 1:1 coaching sessions

to help you understand yourself and gain greater control over your life. We’ll start your coaching by delving into what you’d love to be different by the end of our 12th session, how you know that’s possible (and any adjustments we might need to make to make it achievable), what your current resources are, and what you love about your life already.

In each session we’ll focus on one area of your life that you’d like to be different and by the end of the session you’ll understand yourself, have more compassion for yourself, and (if you want to) design some actions you’d like to take to try out different ways of being. We can explore those actions and how they went in the next session.

8 self-study modules (at your own pace)

You’ll have access to these and upgrades for life. The modules are:

Your Inner Sage Part(s)

You’ll learn about part(s) of you that have access to unconditional love, positive regard, wonder and curiosity and how to tap into these, even if you find it hard to maintain.

Your Inner Saboteurs

You’ll learn about 9 different types of saboteur, how to identify yours and how they keep you in drama with yourself and other people. You’ll learn how to step off the drama triangle.

The SHINE Method is made up of Sensing, Holding, Integrity, Nurture, and Empower and I created it from years of research and experimenting with how to recover from trauma.

Sensing

Sensing is about embodiment – really being in our bodies and experiencing our senses fully. We need to feel so that we can sense our needs and desires and make whole body decisions. If we just make decisions from our heads and do not consider the wisdom our bodies have, we may end up in less than satisfactory situations.

Sensing is also about sensing the parts of us that need healing attention – the inner saboteurs that try to disrupt us are really parts of us that are still in pain. So, we can gently bring them into awareness by using our senses to notice them.

In order for us to be able to sense our needs and our saboteurs it’s really important to increase our mind-body connections. There are several ways that we can do this and it’s where mindfulness comes in. One of the ways I teach this is by inviting you to pay exquisite attention to one of your senses or your breath for 2 minutes – I’ll share more about this and other ways of increasing your mind-body connection in this module.

Holding

Holding is about holding space for ourselves. Building on sensing, holding helps us create space to listen to ourselves, our inner saboteurs, our disowned parts, and what we would like to have happen. As we increase our capacity to hold and sense, it’s possible for our lives to feel so much richer. We might notice more of what we love, helping us to feel more wonder and ease.

Creating time for ourselves each day to listen, without judgement, can give us a sense of love for ourselves. Maybe not at first. It took me a while before I felt love for myself but imagine holding non-judgemental space for someone else. You really respect them and honour them, listening and reflecting with empathy and love. Now imagine doing that for yourself and your inner saboteurs: giving yourself space and permission to be as you are. Every day. 

Imagine that building up over time. One of my clients never used to give herself that holding space, but we worked on that and she began writing for herself, even though she’d had a saboteur hold her back from creative writing since school. Now she facilitates a creative writing group! You might be amazed at your creativity when you give it space to emerge. I’ll share some easy techniques you can put into practice in this module.

Integrity

Integrity is about trusting our intuition and tuning into our values, purpose and vision. Whether you have done this before or not, when you do this you may get insights into how you want to spend your time here on this planet in this lifetime. 

We use the data we’ve gathered from our Sensing and Holding activities to inform our vision. What is the change you wish to see in the world? How does that relate to the information you’ve gathered from sensing and holding?

We’ll notice from our data the things we love, and also the things we don’t love that perhaps need to change. We can reflect on our lives now and the past to find the threads of our purpose. All of this informs our vision. I’ll invite you to create your vision in this module.

Nurture

Module 4 is Nurture. I remember driving home once and I had a friend in the car with me. I bashed my finger on the steering wheel after changing gear. “Ow!” I said, quickly bringing my finger to my lips and kissing it better, like you would with a small child. My friend gasped. She said she loved that I did that and she’d never seen anyone do that. It was a very different response to how I used to treat myself – I would have told myself off or labelled myself “stupid” or something else mean like that in the past. 

Nurture is about really feeling into what it would be like to have a parent who loves you unconditionally and being that parent for yourself (especially if you didn’t have a parent like that, which is highly likely given that your parents or caregivers live in our societies (with all the ‘isms’ going on) and therefore inherited their parents’ traumas). This is really about re-parenting yourself with love and affection so that you can feel safe, calm, and ready to take action on your vision.

This module is also about play. If we don’t play we lose ourselves. Our culture (at least in the UK) values productivity over ‘being’ time, because it doesn’t understand yet that being time is just as valuable, if not more so than productivity time. When we take time to be and enjoy ourselves in whatever ways we love – perhaps painting, reading, climbing, cooking, sitting in a tree, drawing, dancing, walking, playing board games with friends, listening to the sounds of a forest, anything that is fun – we come back more refreshed and more able to produce. We will play with some ways of nurturing ourselves in this module.

Empower

As people who were taught what our bodies should do from an early age (for example: go here at this time, eat at that time, work for this many hours, play at that time; not to mention any abuses we were subjected to), we might find it hard to know our needs and trust ourselves to take action on what we truly want. This has something to do with our trust being broken AND having to stay in the relationships where our trust was broken. In order to stay in those relationships we had to make ourselves wrong and believe we deserved the treatment we got. These beliefs can go deep into our subconscious, which can make it so, so hard to take action on creating what we truly want in our lives, as opposed to trying to follow societal norms like ‘good’ people. The Empower module is about learning to trust ourselves by listening to our own versions of spirituality, tuning into our personal power and taking imperfect action, when necessary.

Review and Next Steps

The final module is an invitation to review your SHINE journey and see what you’d like to use in daily practice so that you can build a strong relationship with your sage part(s) and heal yourself as other parts of you present themselves. It also invites you to notice which activities might help you in times of difficulty or stress.

The self-study modules have been designed for you to work through one after the other. They will be released on a weekly basis and you can choose a pace that suits you. You will have these modules and any updates for life so you can use them again and again or deep dive into sections as and when suits you.

Investment is £792 up front or 3 monthly payments of £300.

Send me an email if this is a good fit or you’d like to know more. Click here to read Max’s testimonial to get an idea of how I work and what’s possible.