I tapped into a teenage part of me whilst painting dots. I was feeling lonely. One of the things I love about painting is the meditative aspect. I can sit and be aware of thoughts, feelings and sensations without the need to act on them because I’ve dedicated myself to the task of painting dots. I first became aware of this choice in relation to thoughts when I painted Constellation in 2009. It was a revelation! I don’t have to act out every thought and impulse!Continue reading “Lonely Teenage Part Discovered Whilst Painting Dots”
If you would like to know the price of Square Dots #1 contact me. If that statement makes you nervous, there’s no pressure to buy. Do feel free to ask me questions about my work. Read on for insights into my painting process…Continue reading “Square Dots #1: sexism and dinero”
When I coach myself, I write out the conversation between the coach part of me and the coachee part of me in my journal. What follows is a particularly powerful self-coaching session. I’ve noticed more enjoyment of my body and how it moves since I coached myself.Continue reading “Self-coaching: small blue fist”
I wrote this snippet of self-coaching yesterday morning in my journal and thought I’d share it as you might like to try it for yourself (notice the questions I ask myself) or you might like me to coach you. This gives you a tiny insight into what coaching with me might be like (warm, accepting, partnering):Continue reading “Self-coaching snippet”
There’s a pea of contention buried in me
underneath the striving, the doing.
I like to pretend it isn’t there but I can feel it.
All the time.
I can’t get comfortable.
When eventually I do sleep, he’s there
reminding me of his manipulation.
It scares me how easily I gave myself to him.
Ignored my needs for safety for his cheap affection.
Left myself behind with
my other selves
from other times.
And now they’re clamouring
to be let back in,
with their pain.
And it hurts.
They have stories to tell and they need to tell them.
I am the conduit
and the comforter.
I ask them what they need and give them space.
Sometimes they rest in my heart tucked up warm and safe.
They take the time they need and when they wake
I feel them.
But I’m busy.
Getting on with my life while I can!
And they interrupt my dreams with things they need to tell
until I realise I need to listen.
And I feel.
And I write.
And I paint.
And the pea shrinks for a while.