self compassion – Julia Fry – Psychotherapist, Neurodivergence Coach, Writer, Poet, Artist.

A Beautiful Journey with Birch

As this new year opens, I find myself drawn into a rhythm that feels both ancient and alive — a rhythm of trees, moons, and quiet connection. My dear friend recently invited me to join a group exploring 13 trees and 13 moons, each cycle bringing us into relationship with a different tree spirit. For this first moonth, we begin with Birch — the gentle pioneer of new beginnings. What unfolds when we consciously connect with nature, our intuition, and one another? This is the beginning of my journey with Birch.

Birch tree with blue sky beyond its bare branches and twigs, with part of a building facade in the background — Brighton Birch, Gloucester Road, 2026

A way of working with critters

Softly blurred figure standing looking into distance, with blurred feather shapes around them — Softly blurred figure
Julia Fry
2026

There are moments when our bodies speak louder than words, carrying messages that link us to our lineage, emotions, and unseen energies. Recently, something happened that reminded me of how intertwined body and psyche truly are — how even invisible critters, as Richard Schwartz calls them, can find their way into our awareness.

Can we trust Gremlins, Inner Critics, Saboteurs and Critters?

Befriending the Voices Inside

Abstract art of inner parts emerging through creative expression, symbolising acceptance in therapy. — Inner Selves
Julia Fry
2026

Anxiety is often spoken about as a problem to be fixed, medicated, or mindset-hacked away. Yet in the therapy room and in my own life, anxiety has shown up as something more complex: a protective part, a messenger from deeper hurt, and sometimes a sign that something stranger is moving through the nervous system. In this article, I share my journey with gremlins, inner critics, parts-work and “critters”, and how creativity and compassion help us move from fighting ourselves to befriending what lives inside.

This is written for anyone who feels hijacked by anxiety or critical voices and is curious about a gentler, more creative way of relating to them.

Words are Magic Spells for Our Nervous Systems

Discover how self-talk acts as magic spells on your nervous system. Reframe struggles, soothe inner critics, and embrace self-compassion this Christmas.

I draw on my breath and the overflowing love that constantly pumps through my heart – healing me, loving me unconditionally, giving me energy in surprising ways.

Words are magic spells.

Words as magic spells healing the nervous system through self-compassion — Julia Fry (2022)

The Inner Critic Hides a Wounded Child

I am so very grateful to Julia Cameron, writer of The Artist’s Way. In that book she taught me to give space to the inner critic by writing down what it says and then turn each phrase around.

My Heart Sings (2020)
Collage, colour pencils
20 x 14 cm
Julia Fry

ADHD assessment system wasn’t built for people with ADHD

After waiting over five years for my ADHD assessment, I finally began the process — only to discover how deeply unfriendly, bureaucratic, and depersonalising the system can be for people like me. This wasn’t news to me intellectually, but now I have a felt sense of it in my body…

The Little Boy Who Wanted to Jump a Gap and Was Scared of Falling

Listen to Julia Fry reading this article

I watched a video on Instagram of a little boy who wanted to jump a gap and was scared of falling. His dad was cheerily pressuring him into it, telling him he could do it. The child kept trying but kept stopping at the edge, and the dad egged him on, a note of exasperation creeping into his tone. As the child grew more agitated, his self-talk became more erratic with words and phrases being repeated excitedly, like “one step, one step, one step.” The dad said at one point that he had to stop himself laughing at the child’s self-talk. Finally, the child did the leap with a reassuring hand hold from the dad. Then he did it without the hand hold and was rewarded with cheers and high fives, and loads of praise. This is how conditions of worth are created.

Gratitude: what’s the point?

In a dark place once, I felt utterly depressed; could not think of one thing I was grateful for. Not one. I hated where I was living in my sixth floor council flat, where I’d taken up the tiles leaving a bare, concrete floor in the lounge. It felt cold, looked freezing, like the night sky. I had no spiritual practice. I had isolated myself. I wasn’t working. I was on government ‘benefits’. I felt unable to work and bad for not working. Wretched is the word for it.

Is it safer to fit in or stand out?

Listen to this article:

Do you want to be different or do you want to fit in?

When I was a teenager, with undiagnosed AuDHD and cPTSD, I desperately wanted to fit in, be accepted, be loved for who I was. I also wanted to express myself through what I wore and I had all kinds of ideas of the outfits I would put together to give space to this self-expression, but I didn’t let myself. I couldn’t. The need to fit in, not be ridiculed, and the desire to feel safe were stronger than the courage needed to stand out and be different.

Category: self compassion