self compassion – Julia Fry – Psychotherapist, Neurodivergence Coach, Writer, Poet, Artist.

Feel! Feelings get trapped if we don’t feel them

Not everyone can name feelings. Some people think about feelings rather than feel the sensations of them in their bodies. Maybe they haven’t been shown how to feel or they’re scared of feeling something unpleasant.

When we don’t feel, the feelings get trapped, grow bigger, become belief systems or ‘parts’ of the self, and they make people do crazy shit to avoid feeling.

They are a sort of protection that used to work well but now they hinder growth and promote stuckness. They keep people in the known for fear of the unknown of the transformed self.

It is natural to have this fear. It is a fear that arises before any process of transformation – therapy, initiation, art, relationships…

How to feel when society is built on rational thinking, rather than feeling, intuition and instinct? Here are some tiny steps:

Create space. Could be on waking or going to sleep. Laying in bed and paying attention to your body – what sensations are there?
With curiosity, what is the quality of the sensation? Is there a word or image associated with it?
Keep paying attention to the sensation. Does it move as you notice it? Say hello to it. Welcome it, if you can.
Thank it for making it self known.

That’s it. You don’t have to have a story attached to a feeling. You can allow it to just be there. You can practise this for a minute or an hour – however long you like. It might seem weird if you’re not used to it but it could, in time, open up a world of delight.

Let me know how you get on, if you’d like to.

Much love,

Julia.

The Sun is the psychological empire of the Soul

An astrological art project…

Double spread of poem (left page) and images of 2 suns (right page) in open hardback book — Sun Spread (2026)
Poem and image drawn over printed book pages
Julia Fry

I bought a book from a charity shop. It’s old and has a red hardback cover. On the spine is written, “The Way to Play”.

The Ache of Tree Love

Let rumination soften into wonder as you connect with trees through mindful attention and nature-based contemplation in this gentle invitation to emotional healing and aliveness.

A Birch tree standing tall in a wood. Looking up the trunk towards the sky.

Sometimes we can’t see the wood for the trees. What a strange phrase. Is it about labelling? Is it about the limitations of mind? We do need our minds to filter out information for us, but what if we mistake the filter for what’s ‘out there’?

A Beautiful Journey with Birch

As this new year opens, I find myself drawn into a rhythm that feels both ancient and alive — a rhythm of trees, moons, and quiet connection. My dear friend recently invited me to join a group exploring 13 trees and 13 moons, each cycle bringing us into relationship with a different tree spirit. For this first moonth, we begin with Birch — the gentle pioneer of new beginnings. What unfolds when we consciously connect with nature, our intuition, and one another? This is the beginning of my journey with Birch.

Birch tree with blue sky beyond its bare branches and twigs, with part of a building facade in the background — Brighton Birch, Gloucester Road, 2026

A way of working with critters

Softly blurred figure standing looking into distance, with blurred feather shapes around them — Softly blurred figure
Julia Fry
2026

There are moments when our bodies speak louder than words, carrying messages that link us to our lineage, emotions, and unseen energies. Recently, something happened that reminded me of how intertwined body and psyche truly are — how even invisible critters, as Richard Schwartz calls them, can find their way into our awareness.

Can we trust Gremlins, Inner Critics, Saboteurs and Critters?

Befriending the Voices Inside

Abstract art of inner parts emerging through creative expression, symbolising acceptance in therapy. — Inner Selves
Julia Fry
2026

Anxiety is often spoken about as a problem to be fixed, medicated, or mindset-hacked away. Yet in the therapy room and in my own life, anxiety has shown up as something more complex: a protective part, a messenger from deeper hurt, and sometimes a sign that something stranger is moving through the nervous system. In this article, I share my journey with gremlins, inner critics, parts-work and “critters”, and how creativity and compassion help us move from fighting ourselves to befriending what lives inside.

This is written for anyone who feels hijacked by anxiety or critical voices and is curious about a gentler, more creative way of relating to them.

Words are Magic Spells for Our Nervous Systems

Discover how self-talk acts as magic spells on your nervous system. Reframe struggles, soothe inner critics, and embrace self-compassion this Christmas.

I draw on my breath and the overflowing love that constantly pumps through my heart – healing me, loving me unconditionally, giving me energy in surprising ways.

Words are magic spells.

Words as magic spells healing the nervous system through self-compassion — Julia Fry (2022)

The Inner Critic Hides a Wounded Child

I am so very grateful to Julia Cameron, writer of The Artist’s Way. In that book she taught me to give space to the inner critic by writing down what it says and then turn each phrase around.

My Heart Sings (2020)
Collage, colour pencils
20 x 14 cm
Julia Fry

ADHD assessment system wasn’t built for people with ADHD

After waiting over five years for my ADHD assessment, I finally began the process — only to discover how deeply unfriendly, bureaucratic, and depersonalising the system can be for people like me. This wasn’t news to me intellectually, but now I have a felt sense of it in my body…

The Little Boy Who Wanted to Jump a Gap and Was Scared of Falling

Listen to Julia Fry reading this article

I watched a video on Instagram of a little boy who wanted to jump a gap and was scared of falling. His dad was cheerily pressuring him into it, telling him he could do it. The child kept trying but kept stopping at the edge, and the dad egged him on, a note of exasperation creeping into his tone. As the child grew more agitated, his self-talk became more erratic with words and phrases being repeated excitedly, like “one step, one step, one step.” The dad said at one point that he had to stop himself laughing at the child’s self-talk. Finally, the child did the leap with a reassuring hand hold from the dad. Then he did it without the hand hold and was rewarded with cheers and high fives, and loads of praise. This is how conditions of worth are created.