Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) is a term coined by William Dodson, an American Doctor who works in prescribing medicines for ADHD. Whilst that may be contentious because he benefits financially from prescribing drugs for ADHD, RSD is something that many people with ADHD and other neurodivergences talk about. Dodson describes RSD as:
Continue reading “Rejection Sensitivity Hurts Like Hell”
I made this as a way of coping during winter living in my van in the North West. I wanted something to do whilst sitting in the library or the faith room at Edge Hill university in the evenings, where it was warmer than sitting in my van. I attached pieces of cotton thread to create the shapes and then meditatively placed dots either side of the thread. I enjoyed this and I could see how agitated or calm I was by the size of the dots.
Just sit and be still;
Meagre sounds compete with massive silence.
Giving myself to it in a different way now,
Yet tinges of teenage angst touch me with cold, sad fingers,
And I need to grieve for her,
For the self who ate to feel love,
Continue reading “I am loving her now”You left me.
Wounded.
I needed help.
You turned away.
Hardened yourself.
Wrote a prescription.
Continue reading “Cold Medical Model Didn’t See Me”In Locus of Evaluation Part 1 I wrote about how I believed my art teacher, Mr Yates, when he told me I wasn’t good enough to do art at ‘O’ Level (equivalent to GCSE), and my journey to becoming an artist in adulthood despite that. In this post I’m going to write about why I believed Mr Yates so readily, and it may (or may not) relate to your own story about locus of evaluation.
Continue reading “Locus of Evaluation Part 2”Being with you is beautiful
However you are
Whatever you’re feeling.
I love you.
I welcome you back.
Together we navigate;
I couldn’t do it alone.
We are strong together
Sharing what we know
And what we don’t
On the edge of
Finding things out.
I see you.
You are not what happened to you.
You are beautiful.
You did what you could
And your body
Created splits
Like rivers forking
All part of the one
In their fractal
Roaming of the earth.
It’s wonderful to see you
And to love you
And be loved by you.
We are not broken.
We don’t need to be fixed.
What we need is presence
For our parts to be mixed.
I wrote that before I really
Knew what it meant.
But I felt it in my being.
The whole of me knew its truth,
Grounded in a desire to mingle
And know each other,
No longer hidden.
Sometimes it’s easy to see
What we need to look at
And sometimes we hide it
From ourselves.
I’ve often said don’t go digging,
But create the conditions
For it to bubble up naturally.
Defences can be high
In everyday life.
Altered states take them away
And with them
They carry away shame
Leaving just the memories
And a sense of love
For the part that went through that.
It’s so freeing
And loving.
There’s a tension between
What’s legal and
What can help billions of people.
I feel it in my heart:
The yearning for
A loving society
That cares
And collaborates
And chills
And plays
And weeps
Together.
