love – Julia Fry – Neurodivergence Coach, Writer, Poet, Artist.

I am loving her now

Just sit and be still;

Meagre sounds compete with massive silence.

Giving myself to it in a different way now,

Yet tinges of teenage angst touch me with cold, sad fingers,

And I need to grieve for her,

For the self who ate to feel love,

There are no words to express this pain.

They touch the surface of it;

Graze and glance off.

“It’s not fair,” is the childish refrain

That strikes my heart,

Tries to open it,

And squeeze inside.

This life sings its own song,

If I let it.

Red velvet loosely covers my sins.

Loving is powerful,

Trapping and freeing.

Singing it sends me home.

I feel it rising,

“Seriously,” said Sandra, “if you feed it, it will grow.”

“What shall I feed it?” Said I. I didn’t quite believe her yet.

“You’re the only one who can answer that,” she smiled and a tiny dimple stroked her cheek briefly.

“But I don’t know the answer!” I felt hot and the words left me quickly. She smiled again. I shook my head, then stared at her. Silence.

Then, “what?” She laughed.