Coronavirus Could Help Us Stop Polluting The Planet

Capitalism Feels Crazy When Contrasted with Experiences in Nature

Soft, beautiful moss in Stanmer Park, Brighton

Moss is so beautiful. The other day, when I was walking, I saw moss blanketing the ground beneath a huge tree. The moss looked so soft. I felt a strong urge to touch it so I wandered off the path, bent down and it was incredibly soft. I felt so happy in that moment, surrounded by trees, feeling that soft, natural substance beneath my finger tips. In that moment capitalism and Coronavirus didn’t exist. No-one demanded payment for me to have this experience. How crazy capitalism is in contrast! And yet I still have bills to pay and need to eat and my whole existence, right now, depends on making money. Thanks to Coronavirus, it’s really hitting home how wrong this system is. What are the alternatives?

What New Systems Can We Create That Feel Whole, Supportive and Collaborative?

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How to Stop Beating Yourself Up and Feel Happier

I’m late writing this blog post because I had writer’s block. When I delved deeper into why I couldn’t begin writing I found a critical inner voice saying, “no point in writing because people will be like, ugh! Oh shut up!” I asked myself what it was protecting me from and I realised I didn’t want to feel disappointment that people might not read or comment on my blog post. Now I know this I can accept that fear: yes, maybe they will not read or comment, and I will have learnt a bit more by writing, and now I can write. My example highlights one of the purposes of self-criticism: to avoid potentially painful feelings. In this post I’ll share more about why we self-criticise, how self-criticism is linked to the fight/flight system, and how we can stop beating ourselves up and feel happier.

I drew this image in 2018 as a way of externalising that critical voice that beats me up. This is just one of the forms I’ve given it over the years.
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How Trauma Gets in the Way of Your Goals and What You Can Do About It

Trauma is not the event(s) that happened to you, it’s how you are affected by those events.

Every noise, every touch, the stones beneath my feet, the splash of fountains from a window, crept evilly upon my senses. The air had a stinging weight like ocean waves. I felt myself a stranger to the world.

Circe by Madeline Miller
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Can Vision Boarding Help Your Mental Health?

The traditional way of creating a vision board is to create one that contains images and affirmations for your future self. If, however, your Inner Critic is likely to beat you up for not doing the things on your vision board, or even tell you you’ll never do those things, it might be better to create a different kind of vision board. In this article, I’ll show you the one I made and I’ll share some different ways of using vision boards.

Here’s a Vision Board I Made Earlier

Julia Fry’s Vision Board
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Clarity and Purpose With the Heart’s Desire Mandala

Julia Fry’s completed Heart’s Desire Mandala

The Heart’s Desire Mandala is a one page worksheet with five simple steps that help you:

  • gain clarity about your heart’s desire (purpose) and
  • identify actions to get closer to your heart’s desire
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What Did You Love About 2019?

Unlike New Year Resolutions, a year review can make you feel good about yourself and give you a stable base for what you’d like to have happen in the coming year. Resolutions can trigger your Inner Critic, especially if you don’t fulfil them, for whatever reason. Feeling crap about not doing your resolutions can spiral into negative self-talk about other areas of your life. You could end up feeling unmotivated or worse, depressed. So, here’s a way to feel great about 2019 and build a solid base for what you’d like for 2020!

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A Short Story: Weird Fish

I’m being swept along in a fast flowing river. When my head is above the river I feel afraid and I grab at things. If I stop struggling and let myself go with it, what happens? It feels better, less tiring than struggling. I can look around for rocks and try to avoid them using my hands. I can take deep breaths and put my head under to see what it’s like. When my head is below, in the river it’s easier to go around obstacles. I can swim. If only I could breathe under the river so I didn’t have to stick my head above so often.

There are big bubbles under the river. I swim over to one and stick my nose in it; there is air in there! I suck it in and slowly let it out until I see the next bubble. Now I notice there are different kinds of flows, like streams within the river; some are faster, some slower. I experiment by moving from one to another. The faster one is exhilarating and the slower one feels gentle.

Fish swim by me and look surprised by my presence; I wave at them and they scurry away. Then one stays close and watches me. It mirrors me. Soon we are laughing together, going fast, then slow, over and over again. The fish asks my name and tells me his is Simon. He’s never met one of whatever I am before and is really enjoying the experience. Me too.

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Kind Communication With Yourself

Image courtesy of Jotform.

Paying Attention to Your Inner Voice

How we talk to ourselves has a direct relationship to how we feel and what we do. This has been documented in psychological research (see references below) and there is a correlation between self criticism and feeling crap. You can see for yourself how true this is by paying attention to your inner voice. If your inner voice is hard to notice at first in daily life, you could pick an activity that you’d like to be able to do well, but haven’t clocked up the hours yet to be able to do well in it. It could be drawing or painting or parkour, for example.

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Instead of Presents This Christmas, How About Presence for Christmas?

To not conform to social expectation and norms can generate a profound sense of isolation and alienation

Rebecca Greenslade (2018)
Drawing of Christmas Tree by Julia Fry. Watercolour pencils on paper.

Not Conforming to Social Norms Can Also Feel Free and Refreshing

The first year (2009) I didn’t buy Christmas presents for friends and family it felt kind of Grinch-like, but also refreshing. I was free from the expectation that had been laid on me by my ancestors. The funny thing was my Grandma hated Christmas but continued to buy presents, decorate a tree and cook incredibly large amounts of food for the festivities. When I asked her why she did it, she grimaced and said something about just getting on with it. Yes, social norms can be incredibly powerful but I wasn’t with my family that first year, so I rejoiced in my new found freedom. I had more time and energy without the worry of what to get for each person.

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Intuitive Christmas Soup Recipe

This time last year I was working on converting my van into a camper at my fab friend, Margaret’s, house. We’d already been eating our way through the vegan mince pie stock from the Sainsbury’s Local nearby since October. I love Christmas food! It’s one of the few things about Christmas I love. My favourite food is a yummy vegan nut roast with all the trimmings. This year we’ve been boycotting Sainsbury’s mince pies because they use palm oil but I still need my early Christmas food fix.

A hearty bowl of vegan Christmas Soup
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