Change is often seen as hard and uncomfortable. It’s made harder, or even impossible, by judging the discomfort as bad. Here are some tips for making change more doable in your life:
Chalk pastel and ink on postcard
1) Set the intention. Stating a clear intention helps your brain begin getting you ready to make the change. The intention could be for an immediate daily goal, or a big life change.
2) Define the first smallest step. When you know what this is, and it might be even smaller than what is immediately obvious, it’s easier to take than if you think of the whole task with its myriad steps all at once.
3) Decide when to take the step. If it’s a daily goal, like brushing your teeth, it is often easier to pair it with another habit – something you already do every day. If it is something bigger that needs more effort, it can be good to body double with someone you feel psychologically safe with to help you begin.
4) Accept that it’s going to be uncomfortable. So much of our society is geared towards comfort. That’s not where change happens. Change happens in the stretch zone, just outside of comfort. Accepting this fact means you can approach it with a sense of reality.
5) Speak to yourself kindly. If you are very self-critical and you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone, you’re going to find it very hard to make change because that self-criticism puts your body into more fight/flight than is necessary. However, if you encourage yourself with kindness you will be soothing yourself as you make the change and that makes it a little bit more doable.
6) Gratitude for the opportunity. With gratitude, the body relaxes even more and that makes it easier the next time you head into the stretch zone. Being grateful to yourself for even conÂsidering making change can create a small snowball effect.
7) Take the action. These small steps can help prepare you to make change. But nothing happens unless you take the action. I find repeating “thank you,” aloud when I’m doing something new / scary / effortful that I have resistance to doing helps me do it.
Insight is nothing without integration and action. If you’d like some accompaniment to explore your process of change, helping you to recognise resistance, and do it anyway, reach out to me for an initial chat by clicking the button below.
